Dirty Little Secret
by Israfel.R
Summary: It's not what everyone thinks, that I'm hiding the fact I am gay or at least bisexual. I just want to live a normal life but I want someone to know also. Sam/Kurt TG!Sam
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Sam being gay is such a lame secret, I swear if it is that he is gay I'm gonna be piss. He should at least be bisexual, there's like no bisexual characters on TV… That I know of. Anyways, this little plot bunny came from reading some fanfics and watching Degrassi and being a transguy, I thought it would be epic if Sam is a transsexual :'D Maybe I'm the only one who thinks it… This is also the other version of a fanfic I'm writing but this one is going to have a "_happy ending_", I think so far it would be at least (no promises…)

**WARNINGS**: Issues of homophobia, transphobia, teenage drama, tons of insecurities, cursing, emotional crap, Sam being a geek, and stuff… Maybe some grammar issues, I suck at self editing.

This may not have sexual content since I'm not sure if people can handle transgender sex, but if you can I'll hike the rating up and do it just for you guys mmhmmm

THIS IS SLASH!

* * *

_Who has to know?  
When we live such fragile lives,  
It's the best way we survive._

_~All American Rejects_

"Sam, just tell me," Kurt pleas, his eyes widening as he hold onto my hands. I have to look away though, so I don't crack under his puppy eyes. "I won't love you any less." He squeezes my hands.

I take a deep shaky breath, looking at our hands intertwine a frown graces my lips. "Trust me, you wouldn't want to date me anymore."

"It can't be that bad." He laughs nervously. "I like you for your quirky personality, your cute smile, and that you can speak that weird alien." I let out a laugh, trying to get the sense of life back into myself but I know I have to tell Kurt so I'm once more drain again. "So no matter what it is, I'll always like you for you."

* * *

I can understand a bit when people think I'm keeping the secret of being gay locked away in myself, but that's not really the secret. Sure, I tell people I'm not gay but that's because I'm not. I'm pansexual, I believe in falling in love with people, and really, I kind of want to find a person who likes me for me and not cause I'm a cute boy, which is not a bad thing but if they just want to get laid I'm not like the average teenage guy who thinks about sex all the time. I mean, I do! I'm a healthy guy, I think about sex too but not like OD*! Anyways, that's not my secret, I don't care who knows but in the same time I'm not flaunting it all over the place.

My secret will make me the number one target of Lima or the whole fucking state of Ohio, well probably not but seriously it can happen. The reason why I try so hard to be part of the "cool kids", playing football, and making sure my abs look smoking hot. It's not cause I'm a Trekie, a Na'Vi speaker, gamer, or even a fanfiction reader; those don't really seem so bad since I do not look like a nerd. My secret can get me killed reason why I take showers after everyone is gone; though Kurt sneak in which caused me to flip out and shield my lower parts which, thankfully, he did not even bother to sneak a peek. It's why's I'm always a bit subconscious about not wearing a shirt, in the Rocky Horror play we were doing. Also, my secret caused my mother to leave my father and me. So, yeah. It's that big.

My mom never liked homosexuals to begin with anyways; so when I came out as bisexual, they had no idea what pansexual was, she was a bit disgusted. I brought home mostly guys though, and at the time she was totally fine with that unless it was a girl. Then... Then everything went to hell. Probably a month after coming out as being bi, I finally understand why I was different, why I always felt like the odd person, why I never felt complete, and why I felt sick when everyone called me she.

Yeah, you read that right.

She.

I was born Samantha Evens.

My huge secret is I am a transsexual male.

I never knew about transsexuals guys, I knew male to females, also known as MTFs, since the media shows tons of stuff about them so I just assumed I was always stuck as a female, even though every birthday I would wish to wake up as a boy. I learned about female to males, FTMs, while I was online trying to figure about what was my problem. When I learn I can become a real guy, I was so happy I had to share with my parents.

That was two years ago.

My mom called me freak, saying I didn't need to be a boy and I was sick. She went crazy, saying how she didn't want a tranny to be her child. My dad had to remove her, calling the police when she tried to attack me. I then realize being a transgender kid was not as easy as being bisexual. I took her words to heart, though, most of those days I would cry myself to sleep, some nights I just keep on crying I couldn't fall to sleep as those words haunt me.

But, I guess I am lucky to have my dad.

He had sent me to a gender therapist, to see if I was really transgender and they can help me start hormones, get surgery, and change my name. After a week, it was confirm I am a boy. After a few more weeks, I got my name change to Samuel Evens. After days, I was on hormones. After six months, I got top surgery to remove my... "Lady parts".

My school did not take kindly to it. Most the kids would freak out even more when they knew I was bisexual, I would get kicked, punched, death threats, and pretty much anything you would think of that gays go through but a lot worst. My father thought it would be best if I went to an all boys school, which made me excited but my mother kept telling me I choose this life that I should stick with it. My dad signed the papers to let me move. I was thankful.

Mom was grossed out by me after a year. She divorced my dad and the last thing she told me it was my entire fault that she still loved him but I ruined everything. I thought she was going to convince him to leave me too, as she cried saying she loves him, but he pulled me into a hug and told her to leave.

After a year, her words still haunt me even to this day but I try to forget. After we had to move since the house was getting too much to maintain the payments, the private schooling was getting too much to pay, also.

During the summer, my father and I would work out together. I tried to drop any image of femininity off, gaining a six pack, which also helped with the scars from the surgery to be a little more invisible. I learn to play football to be able to join the team since it's a "Man's sport". Only buy men's clothing, since I had a weak spot for some female shirts... Not that they can fit me after my muscles... Stop wearing skinny jeans, since non-manly men wear those, and most importantly, tried not to be a huge nerd. I had to be the "American Golden Son" so no one can assume I was female. It's just a bit hard when trying to shower after practice, not having bottom surgery done, and having a gay kid who is probably crushing on me, telling me I bleach my hair. This was weird how he knew it too! I told my dad I would shower in the nurses, but I really didn't want to seem like a loser so I would wait for them to leave instead. My dad just wants me to be safe, and not have stupid transphobic people attack me while I shower...

Anyways...

But somehow, I manage to live it up. No one knows. Everyone thinks my huge secret is that I am a homosexual. I kind of wish I can tell someone though, someone else to know the real me.

* * *

"Sam?" Quinn frowns, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears. I give her a look that I'm paying attention. "Is everything okay?"

I bit my lips. I want to tell her the truth so much, but I just can't. She wouldn't understand anyways. "I..." I swallow a huge lump in my throat. "I'm sorry." I almost moan out, "I can't do this." I shut my eyes, leaning my head back to stare at the roof of the car.

"So..." Quinn starts quietly, "You are gay?"

Seriously? Are you freaking serious? I laugh bitterly, I'm getting angry that everyone thinks I'm gay, looking back at the Cheerio whom looks hurt and confused. "No. I'm not gay, Quinn." She smiles sadly at me. "Actually, let me tell you something. I'm bisexual."

"Oh." She licks her lips, tugging at the ends on her blue dress. "Then is it me?"

"No." I answer honestly. "It's my problem." I inform her, looking straight into her pretty eyes so she can see I'm telling the truth. "I have a problem with touching, I guess." _How do you explain why you're not having a hard-on when you're heavily making out?_ "But, I just can't date you anymore." I sigh out, feeling a huge cold brick in my chest as it tighten around it. "I don't feel comfortable dating someone I can't be honest with. But... We can still be friends?"

"Are you still going to take me to the movies on Friday?" She smirks, her eyebrow quirks up.

I laugh. "Yes, I will still take you."

"Awesome." She nods, she gather her stuff and turn to open the car door but stops. "Oh, and Sam? If you need to ever talk, even about whatever it is you feel uncomfortable with, you can always talk to me... You know that, right?" I wish I can tell her. I just nod slowly, with no life. "Bye." She pats my arm and leaves me all alone in the car.

I watch her go in her home. Letting my head drop to the steering wheel, replaying what stupid move I did. I just broke up with the hottest girl right after having a great make-out session. Wow Sam, you fuck up! I hit my head on the wheel, wincing slightly at the pain and then sit up to drive home. I keep the radio off, knowing it's just gonna somehow now my mode of music and make me feel worst some way.

* * *

"Sam?" My father calls out to me from the dining room. I shout out a hey and sit in front of the TV. Moments later, my father comes in as if knowing I feel like crap. "You okay?" He sits down next to me, roughing my hair up.

"I broke up with Quinn." He frowns at that. I think he really liked Quinn, even though they only met a few times for a short time. "I wanted to tell her I'm Trans but... I couldn't." I sigh, letting my head fall back onto the couch to stare at the white ceiling. "We're still friends though."

An awkward silence wraps around us, I should have know better than to tell him about this. It's my entire fault my parents broke up, why would he want to talk about my problems of being Trans? Way to go again, Samuel. Stupid kid, seriously.

"You know what? Forget it." I groan, standing up to go upstairs and lock myself in my room to play Starcraft 2 and just release my frustration on some n00bs*.

He grabs my arm before I can leave, I don't turn to look at him cause I do not want to look sad, girls are the emotional ones and I am a guy! "I know it's hard." He starts as if testing the waters, "But you will find someone who likes you for you and not care about your past... Or what's in your pants."

I let outs a weak laugh at his joke. "I know, I just want to meet that person now." I pull away and rush upstairs. Screw Starcraft 2, I need some blood and gore.

* * *

A/N: I hope you all like this, whoever is reading it at least, and would give me some reviews! I already have a few chapters writing but if no one reviews, I'm not gonna post it since it's a waste of time. **SO PLEASE REVIEW**! Even if you fav or put on alert! Giving a smiley face is good enough, cause if other do what I do, they read a story if they have a lot of review LOL Gawd, I'm a loser…

Next chapter will have KURT! Yay~

_Notes:_

**OD**: Over Dose (medical term, I use it a lot…)

**n00bs**: Spelt with zeros since I have a feeling if Sam is such a geek, he would know how to speak l33t.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: SUPER MEGA AWESOME! Thanks for the reviews, favs, and alerts! I was going to answer all of them but I didn't make time for the internet this week… So fail on me. But you're reviews made my crappy week awesome so I'm posting this chapter up now… Mainly cause tomorrow is going to be the worst day of my life, I KID YOU NOT, since I'm doing two things I hate on the planet, spending time with my mum and going to a museum. Hoping to get reviews to put a smile on my face though, don't let me down peeps.

I'm planning updating every Tuesdays and Thursdays night/Fridays morning/afternoon (depends when I wake up), but only if I have enough chapters to do so since I'm already on mid 5 lol sorry…

I hope this chapter is okay, I wrote half of it in a horrible mood and the rest watching some odd horrible horror movie.

ENJOY THOUGH!

* * *

_It's time to forget about the past  
To wash away what happened last_

_~30 Seconds To Mars_

I expected Quinn to just ignore me the whole day, but she surprised me by coming over and talking about the movie we are going to see this weekend. People look at us like we were the cutest couple; well that's what I heard a few weeks ago from some freshman's. I frown though, she doesn't notice.

"Quinn, I gotta go to the office." I lie to her, I look at her to see if she caught it and she does, nodding saying her goodbyes and link arms with Mercedes and Kurt. I roll my eyes as Kurt looks me over, probably knowing Quinn and I broke up and she probably told him I am into guys too.

I turn away to the main office, just in case one of them is watching me, I am not paranoid, but I can see Quinn and the others following me for some form of gossip. I see Mrs. Pillsbury sitting there just fixing her desk to be perfect, I kind of understand what she is going through. I have a bit OCD when it comes to stuff like eating in even numbers, my video games are in ABC order, making sure my inventory in games are prefect, how my Pokémon are in level order and in type order... Okay, stopping now since I sound like a nerd. The guidance counselor looks up, smiling when she sees me and motions me to come in. I could just walk away, you know? Pretend I was looking at her cause she's a weirdo, but I go in instead.

"Hello Sam." She smiles sweetly. I would have to say Mrs. Pillsbury is one of the cutest one of school staff. I mean, well... Just look at her! "What can I do for you?"

Sitting down, I take a shaky breath. It's now or never. She's willing to listen and I want someone, who is outside of my family, to know who I really am, who I can come over to talk to, to share my ideas to help other Transgender kids, and some other stuff like porn... Maybe not porn with a school staff member... "Um, yeah?" I run my hands over my chest, a bit of a nervous habit I got before surgery that stuck with me. "I... I have really no one else to talk." I shake my bleach blonde hair, "I mean, I do! I just want someone outside of the family to talk to." she nods in understanding, which makes me sigh in relief. "It's kind of hard to say though." I mutter, biting my lips.

"Just take your time." She smiles out, friendly.

I take a deep breath, "I'm..." _Transgender!_ "I... Ugh..." I let my head fall.

"How about I start?" She asks sweetly in her soft tone. "How are things going with Quinn and you?"

"We broke up on Friday." I inform her, frowning at why I wanted to break things up. "It wasn't like a bad break up, we're still friends."

"Why did you guys break up then?"

"I couldn't be honest with her." I meet her wide blue eyes, which is a bit weird when you don't know her but seeing her a lot I realize she just look like that and that just adds moe* points to the max. "Not that I was like cheating! I felt odd not being able to tell her things in fear she would hate me, plus I don't think we are good for each other." Mrs. Pillsbury tells me to go on. "I'm... Bisexual." Okay, not what I wanted to say but whatever. Bisexuals still get heat from the homophobes, maybe not as much, I wouldn't know since only people I really dated were females, even though I like guys more...

"Well, you still like girls, Sam, and I believe she wouldn't have hated you because of that. She's friends with Kurt." She points out, which makes me feel a bit better, since knowing she does like a member of the LGBTQ community, but sexuality is way different from being Trans.

I shake my head. "Well, it's different for me. My mom left me because of what I am. To her, I'm a freak."

She doesn't say anything else, wanting me to continue about my mother but I don't. I avoid eye contact and just stare at my shoes. Which I realize I should get new ones and maybe a new pair of pants, I wonder if Quinn would want to go shopping with me. She'll probably convince me to get some skinny jeans since the last time we went out she told me she really-

"You feel alone and different." She says, causing me to jump out of my thoughts and look up at the red head lady. "Because you have no one to talk to like yourself?" I nod but for a totally different reason. I do have Trans friends but they live so far away, it's not the same to talk to someone who understands you, or is similar to you, who is miles away. Sometimes, I just want more human interaction and maybe a hug or two. "Would you talk to Kurt? I know he's not bi, but he is part of your community."

"I guess..." I shrug. Really, Kurt kind of seems mean. Always talking about who has horrible outfit on, hair style and some other gay stuff I do not understand.

"I think that would be a great idea." She clasps her hands in excitement. "For whatever your Glee assignment is you should go to Kurt to partner up with him." I almost wanted to tell her that was a bad idea since I kind of wanted to be under the radar of getting a slushy facial, but she's right. I need someone who understands to be different. Even though Kurt would have no idea how different we are. "Sam, thank you for sharing your feelings and I'm always here to talk to, so don't be afraid."

I nod thanks, feeling horrible about myself. She smiles though so I give a shy one back in hopes she cannot read my emotions. As she passes me a note to excuse my lateness, I rush out of there. I don't even feel like going to math right now.

* * *

Instead of sitting next to Quinn, since I took the seat beside her when dating plus she's now between Kurt and Mercedes, I sit next to Kurt. Only because every seat was taken and I had to spend a few minutes in the bathroom making sure I look presentable to everyone so they can't see I'm having a rough time within myself.

So, I smile at the gay boy. He smiles back, but of a flirty one. Well, as flirty he can look since Kurt is more cute than flirty, in my opinion at least. He has that total twink, uke*, innocent look going on.

Anyways! What am I saying?

Quinn had to have said something. I look over to her, seeing her give me a thumbs up as if to say to go for it. I will totally get her back.

"So, I was right." Kurt says, as Mr. Shue goes about our weekly assignment.

"About?" I play along, smirking.

"That you're not straight and you bleach your hair." He chuckles, "So why deny you're gay?"

"Cause I don't care what's in a person's pants to like them? Plus, I am new. I want to be somewhat normal." I shrug, rolling my eyes a bit. "But now you know, my plans are foiled! Quinn just told you?" I give a dramatic sigh, which earns me a giggle. Oh Kurt, really? Giggles? Total uke. Man, I need to stop watching anime...

"She let it slip when we were shopping, scooping out cute guys."

Damn it Quinn, even if it was an accident, I'm still getting her back!

Mr. Shue tells us we can to go into pairs if we wanted to; I look over at the slightly shorter boy and silently ask him to partner up. He nods his approval.

"So, what are we doing?" I ask with a nervous laugh, running my hands through my hair. "It's your entire fault I wasn't paying attention."

"My fault?" He laughs, "You could have just stopped talking." He looks over to Quinn and Mercedes asking them what we had to do. "We're singing a song about our feelings." Mr. Shue and Mrs. Pillsbury totally talked today about this. Well, at least she's helping. "Know a song?"

"Kidding, off the top of my head? I have the Girlfriend song stuck right now." I joke, somewhat…

"You do not seem the type to like Avril Lavigne." His eyebrow goes up.

"I'm full of surprises, baby." Okay, seriously Sam? _Baby_? Who the hell you think you are? Kurt smiles though. "You can come over though? Or I can go over... Whatever you want." I shrug.

He just smiles, cutely.

* * *

The moment we walked into my house, my father rushes over like I got shot or something. I guess since I usually tell him when I'll be home, and I forgot since Kurt was telling me possibilities of sings I never heard of. My father pulls that worry face off when he sees Kurt and I holding McDonald's, I don't like them that much but Lima doesn't have a Burger King and I was craving a burger. I clear my throat. "Dad, this is Kurt."

He gives Kurt a look through. Narrowing his eyes a bit and taking in Kurt's figure. If living with me gave my father gaydar, then he totally has it because every boy I brought home, even before I knew I was Trans, was gay and he knew right away they were. Plus, now he knows I'm bi... Oh man, God! Please do not have him say-

"Are you Sam's boyfriend?"

I choke, violently like I was gonna die. Kurt's eyes widen in shock. "Dad!" I hiss, "Not every gay kid is my boyfriend!"

"Could have fooled me." He mutters, walking back to the couch.

Shaking my head, and giving Kurt an I-am-sorry look, I pull him up the stairs telling my dad that we are going to do some work. He shouts back to behave. I die a bit more.

Once my door is closed, Kurt laughs falling on my bed, which is messy and I totally forgot i have Pokémon bed sheets, as I take a seat in front of my laptop. "So, your dad knows?"

"Yeah, he's cool with it. Though, when I brought my first girlfriend he was a bit shock." Shit, I did not mean girlfriend!

"Girlfriend? Why?" Kurt frown, probably confused why any father would be disappointed or shock for a boy to bring a girl home. If I was in his shoes, I know I will.

"Well, my first girlfriend was in the middle if getting a sex change, male to female." I chuckle nervously, thanking god that I did not have to make up a long lie. "Her name is Ash." I smile remember one of my best friends. "She told me after a few weeks of dating she was actually a girl so we just ended up being a weird straight couple." Weird since I was the ftm and she the mtf, but still boy and girl to everyone else in the normal way. I have no idea; it was confusing to think like everyone else. "I always brought home guys but never really dated them." I shrug, "So I never had a boyfriend. But then Ash and I broke up since well, we dated for like a year and we wanted a break, we were like young so dating was like nothing to us. At the LGBT center, tons of dudes would flock to her and I was always jealous." _Mainly cause she was able to get her sex change first..._ "But I grew out of it."

"Interesting." He hums.

"Yeah, well. I'm huge on the whole helping Transgender people now." I seriously felt a little bit of weight lift off my shoulder. "I try to help pay for surgery for help, like giving spare change or help set up events to raise money and stuff."

"That's really nice of you." He praises, sitting up in my bed. He smiles at me which warms my heart up like it's going to burst. "I wish I can help them." I perk up. If Kurt wants to help transgender kids maybe he can help me, even though talking is probably not that good. "I feel bad for all those gay teens that get kicked out of home." My spirits die out, he means the gays... Not Trans.

"Trans kid get it worst though." I mutter bitterly looking for a sign that Kurt actually doesn't like Trans people. I know from experience that some gays don't like transsexuals, for stupid reasons too like the fact we don't have a penis. Sex crazed guys they must be, and it's always the cute ones too. Damn it.*

Kurt nods though, "Oh I know! I just mean... Well, if you help the trans kids I can help the gays. So, we can be a team!" Stumbles a bit, probably feeling that I was a bit angry.

That... Makes no sense. But I smile and nod; I'm a nice person who takes crap from everyone anyways.

* * *

When Kurt goes home, my whole body just feels drain. I started to like him, wanting to come out of this stealth* mode, but I was just confused. Kurt seems to me like those gay guys I have met, who only like bio males and shuns the Transguys for no good reason. If so... I don't want to get hurt anymore, it was horrible the first few times. But at the same time, he is totally into me. I knew this the first time we spoke and now... It's so clear.

I spent the last few hours just feeling sick to my stomach.

Damn you, fast food!

* * *

Don't forget to review! Tell me what's a bit unclear, grammar, and stuff... Just don't give me criticism that is harsh, I write this for fun and to vent...

Next chapter has some "fanservice" I guess…

_Notes:_

**Moe: **I heard it on Lucky Star (an anime) and I think it means cute, not sure… But Emma is moe fo sho

**Uke: **In yaoi (anime gay porn) it's the receiver of sex, the bottom; usually they are cute.

**Gays disliking/not dating Trans: **This has happen to me. Some guys I started to like wouldn't date me since I was not "technology male" since I don't have a penis, true story. This has happen to me about three times. I mean, I can totally buy one in the size they like, but noooo. Also, my father says they are confused, the same with bisexuals.

**Stealth: **I'm not sure what it _really_ is since I don't bother in correcting people anymore, but to my understanding it's when a TG seems either ashamed in their background and/or wants to forget they were ever born the wrong gender. I could be wrong though.

**BTW** is anyone reading these note? Cause I will stop them if no one does…


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Awww, I feel like last chapter was horrible since people didn't really review… Hopefully this one is okay? Currently I am writing chapter 6, and on another site I post this on it seems to be doing okay but I would still like to hear what you guys think! Sorry I couldn't post this yesterday, I was in a car accident with my mother's car and she now hates me even more; and I found out my only friend is in a coma and I cannot visit her. So, I am depress and my neck hurts.

SO! PLEASE REVIEW! Seriously… Alerts are all fun and dandy but I love reading your reviews :'3

* * *

_Infected with where I live  
Let me live without this  
Empty bliss,  
Selfishness  
I'm so sick_

_~Flyleaf_

"Sam... Stop faking being sick." My dad pulls the covers off my body. The cold air hits my bear chest. I have taken a liking to sleeping shirtless ever since I got my surgery. It's just awesome. "Sam." He says sternly.

"Dad." I whine, curling into myself for warmth. "I swear, I feel sick."

"This isn't about Kurt?" He asks out of the blue, in a concern voice. At least he's concern about my well being, a bit... Even though it's for the wrong reason...

"Why would it be about him?"

"He seems to like you." He points out, I grumble a no duh. "You're just scared like you were with Quinn? Don't want to see him?"

"Yes, but it has nothing to do with him. We have no classes together. Seriously, dad, I want to throw up what I ate last time."

"I just don't want to see you hurt, again." I flinch at those words. "But fine. Stay home, but you are not going out later." He leaves my room by slamming my door, to get ready for work.

* * *

After a few hours of throwing up and watching whatever horror stuff on the TV, I realize it is Friday and I was suppose to go with Quinn to the movies! Oh my god, she's going to hate me! Quickly sending her a text about feeling sick, her response a few minutes later with a sad face, I hate when people send emotes text messages, leave me a real message woman!

The door bell rings, making me roll off the couch on to the floor to crawl to the door. I stand just to open it, to see most of the Glee club here... Awkward since I'm only in boxers... "Hey guys." I say nervously, doing my stupid nervous habit of messing my hair up. "What bring you here?"

"Well, I told Kurt and Mercedes you were ditching us." Quinn starts, which make me wonder why I was ditching them since it was just going to be her and I but I guess she invites them for some odd reason. Like setting me up with Kurt... "The Rachel and Finn heard and wanted to make sure you're okay."

"I brought you some ginger ale, vegan soup, and crackers to help your stomach heal." Rachel walks in with the group following her, which makes me bug out on her pink and green outfit. Seriously, who is dressing this girl? "You should wear a shirt, and maybe some long pants, to get rid of the stomach flu."

"Right..." I sigh, "Make yourself feel at home." I shout out while running up the stairs, making a quick break at the bathroom to heave out stomach acid since running made me feel ill, and the changing to real clothing. I know my scars are like invisible now, but I hope they didn't see anything wrong with my chest, I'm thankful that my doctor was able to make them look prefect. Some doctors, like few of my friends from online got theirs done, make them look a little weird. Plus, sometimes they don't keep the nipple, which weirds me out a bit so I'm so glad I have mine, even though they are supper sensitive now.

Once I came back, I realize Rachel is missing. I was going to voice this but she comes back with a bowl of her soup. She tells me to sit down, so I take back my seat on the couch with my blanket. I tell her thanks as she smiles brightly; telling me in full details I need to keep up my strength for not only football, which is why Finn was here cause it concern him, but also for my voice to be able to come back to school to sing. I groan, singing was the last thing I want to do.

"So," Rachel takes her breather to start up once more. "Have you thought of a song? Your voice and Kurt's will go great together, and if I may add, the song of the right choice would make everyone love your voices together." Rachel confuses me so much. Kurt says she never complements people so her to be doing this to me, for another week, is confusing.

"Oh, I did think of a song." I inform them, mostly Kurt though, as I take a spoon full of soup which is pretty tasty, even if it has a weird color to it. "It's pretty good, and two people sing it-"

"A duet?" Rachel interrupts with glee, clapping her hands.

"-So, I think you can sing the girl part since your voice would match her's more than mine..." I trail off, taking more soup and seeing they changed my TV channel.

"What song?" Kurt asks, with concern. "Feeling sick again?

Ugh, so cute! I just want to kiss him! Wait? What? No no no! No kissing! Shaking my head to get rid of thoughts of kissing Kurt and answering him at the same time, I answer him by saying. "It's a secret for them; seriously it would spoil my fun if I tell you right now." I wink at the brunette.

"Text me?" He smiles, excited to be in the secret.

"And have them take your cell and read it? Never." I laugh at his pout.

"I think we should go anyways." Rachel says, pulling Finn away from the crackers. "It was so nice to see your house and enjoy the soup, there's more in the kitchen!" She gives Quinn and Mercedes a look, which they say their goodbyes, Quinn winking at me. "Tell Kurt now, and you can plan your song!" Rachel says, shutting the door behind them all.

Sneaky woman...

We sat in an uncomfortable silence with Adventure Time playing it's weird but epic show. Kurt was fiddling with his shirt, while I ate my soup. Pulling my iPod out from under the pillow, I look for the song while Kurt watches with interest.

"I really like this song." I tell him, passing my pink, yes pink, skullcandy head phones. He gives me a look about the colour but says nothing as he places them in. "So here you go."

I change the channel back to the travel channel, my show is on.

* * *

Kurt loves the song, telling me it is a great pick for the both of us since our sexualities made us the odd ones out. For me though, it wasn't because of that. I was odd for so many reasons. But, not wanting to say much, I nod at his theory as we pick which part to sing and to find the sheet music for the song for the band to play. I suggest I could play the guitar with him playing the piano, since he told me he could play it, which is a great idea for him.

I think he is proud with me, to sing such a daring song about up being the odd man out. But only if he really knew.

We sit back on my couch, as I turn the channel to see my most favorite show in the whole freaking word. I seriously let out a squeal, which Kurt gave me a look that reads you-are kidding-me-right? As he looks from me to the show of RuPaul's Drag Race.

"All these girls," I point to each one, "I would totally date." Most Drag Queens have attitudes that make me want to punch myself though. "One time, at my old school, I dressed as a drag queen and my girlfriend was a drag king; it was pretty fun. I don't think I can do it now since back then I was a thin kid." I confess, laughing at the memory.

"That is something I would love to see!" Kurt laughs, his hands moving up to cover his mouth as he continues to laugh.

"Yeah, well my drag queen days are done, babe." I laugh, shaking my head.

Kurt begins to tell me different things about how the right make up and wig can make me look like a girl. I tell him no way in hell, playfully shoving him away, which cause him to push me back, so I jumped him to tickle him to death as pay back!

Kurt begs for me to stop, but I don't, just easing up a bit while I lay on top of him so he cannot escape nor attack back. His breath hits my face, the scent of Ginger ale invades my nose, as it moves my hair into my eyes so I flip it to the side, and stop tickling him. I stare down at him, my hands under his thinner body, the heat running from him increases as he takes deep breaths that hits me. I smile, locking our eyes together, my chest heaving fast and in pace with his while they brush together. I move my leg, from between his own, brushing against his lower region taking note his is a bit turn on. I lick my lips, as his breath hitches and his mix hypnotizing eyes flutter. I know it's stupid to do this, but I lean down closing the inches between us slowly. Our breath mingles, the tips of our lips brush as an electric surge rushes from the small touch, I bring my hand up to touch his face, his eyes snap open locking to my own, taking a final breath-

I hear a clearing of someone's throat.

I jump back as if I am on fire, realizing what I was doing and how wrong this is, mainly because I just got out of a relationship and Kurt would never fall for someone like me. I see my father giving me a look, the look that means I have to talk to him later, I bite my lip. Kurt gets up, flustering and stuttering that he should get going before his dad freaks out and something about Finn and homework. Politely, but not looking at my father, he bids good bye to him and me while running out the door.

"Not every gay kid is your boyfriend, huh?" My father mocks me by quoting what I had said yesterday. I cross my arms over my chest, glaring a bit as he locks the door while shaking his own blonde hair. "Sam." He starts; disappointment is beginning to fill his voice.

"Dad." I match his tone. "It's not like we were having sex." I point out, which made him frown.

"But what if it did go that far? I'm sorry to say, but you're not a hundred percent male down there." He jesters downward.

My jaw drops in shock he would dare bring that up. "I know! You think I don't know that?" I shout, seeing red. "Every time I take a shower, every time I use the bathroom? It's the reason why I broke up with Quinn!" I cannot believe what he was implying! "So, it's okay for me to date a girl but not a guy? It's all fine that I can get caught making out with Quinn but when it comes to Kurt you just gotta remind me I'm a freak?"

"Sam, I did not mean it that way." He comes over to me, but I move back.

"No, but that's how I understand it."I shout one last time running past him to go up stairs. Once I get to my room, I lock myself in.

I'm not even sure what he really means, honestly. Either he is telling me I can get pregnant, which I cannot since the hormones cause all that to shut down forever, or he has a problem with me dating guys, which is completely homophobic! Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I can't date other guys, sure I'm not girly but still! Not all gay guys are girly like Kurt!

This is so messed up! Why couldn't I have just been born a guy? Why couldn't I just been a normal bisexual biological male? No, I have to be a stupid Tranny also!

* * *

REVIEW AND YOU GET… the next chapter…


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Wow, 30 people have this on their watch list! Super awesome! It'll be more epic if like… at least half of you review though … So, to keep up with twice a week update, there it is!

* * *

_Do you know what it's all about  
Are you brave enough to figure out  
Know that you could set your world on fire  
If you are strong enough to leave your doubts_

_~Kerli_

All last night I only remember my mother yelling at me, calling me a freak and how much my life is a mistake. I couldn't sleep since when I close my eyes all I could think of was her yelling, seeing her yelling at me too. I then gave up on sleep, rolling out of bed, turning my computer on to play some video games. After a few hours I then got ready for school, avoiding my dad and skipping breakfast, I go outside and drive off to school, hours before school even starts.

I really need someone to talk to, like right now. My father and I hardly fight, but when we do we take a long time to interact with each other. I guess it's the whole manly pride thing going on. Staring at my cell, the white numberings flashing it's only six a.m.; I go to my contact list searching for the only person who can understand me.

Seeing their name, I take a deep breath hoping they won't be angry when I call. Pressing the talk button, I hear it ring a few times waiting for the person to pick up.

"Sam?" They ask, sounding all sleeping and voice all husky.

"Yeah, can I talk to you?" I frown, hoping they say yes. I hear movement, a few cursing and asking me if I'm okay and if they need to beat someone up. I must have sounded like a wounded animal; I let out a weak laugh saying I'm fine, sorta.

"Shoot." I can practically hear the smile and concern on their voice.

So, I let it all out.

* * *

After talking for an hour on the phone and realizing I am wasting my minutes, we part ways. I'm a bit more relief but still I was down. But, keeping my hopes up, I walk through the halls of the school humming a lame tune about god knows what, I think it's the second session of Pokémon.

A person lays their arm around my shoulders, I glance over to see the only Mohawk wearer in Glee club and Finn, leading me down the hall way. "Sam, Sam, Sam." Puck rolls my name off his tongue with a friendly tone, and I would be crazy, or blind, not to melt a bit the way he says it. Man, Puck is hot. Not that I would date him since he's straight and a slut. But I can still look and fantasize, yeah?

"Sam I am." I grin earning a frown from the Jewish guy.

"Right, listen up dork." His voice changes, getting down to business, "Finn and I are entering a Modern Warfare 2 group tournament and we need two more guys on our team." He looks over to me, seeing if I'm paying attention and I am once I heard the game, so I nod. "Since Finn says you are really good at it, we're thinking we'll have a chance on winning with you on the team. So what do you say?"

"I dunno..." I frown.

"Winners get a hundred dollars!" Finn says, on my left side. "Think of what you can do with the money!"

Nothing... Well, I can save it for my testosterone shots, or help some Transguy get a binder, or buy a new video game... Or clothing... Or... Okay, lies about nothing then! Still, group events I'm not so well with that. My teammates tend to suck a bit.

"I don't think I can, sorry." I tell them, "Kurt and I are still doing our assignment and we need all the practice we can get." I shrug, Puck's arm brushing the back of my hair. Oh my god, such muscles on those arms.

"Come on, Sam." Finn pouts, which is making me weak to go with their plan. "Please?"

"Seriously, hang out with real guys, not some fag."

Ugh, peer pressure. My worst enemy has found me; it is bound to happen once more after Finn convince me not to sing with Kurt for the duets.

Removing Puck's arm from around me, I turn around to face them both. "Look, thanks for the invite, and if it was any other time I would say yes, but Kurt kind of comes first, even if it makes me seem like a fag." I walk away to my class, wanting to bash my head in. Really? Kurt comes first? That was the gayest thing I can say out loud, well this year at least.

But... At least I was called a fag and not a dyke. Smiling to myself, I go into English ready to learn.

* * *

"Finn told me what you said." Kurt says, taking a seat next to me in lunch. "That's really sweet of you." He blushes.

I figure Kurt was going to avoid me like the plague since I almost kissed him, but I gotta remember Kurt is gay, not bi or pansexual, and he thinks I'm a bio male. I smile at him, "Yes, he must have left the part out of being a fag then." He winces at the word, follow by an awkward silence. Great, subject please! I look at Kurt to think of something, stopping on his pink lips that take in a reach dressing carrot, oh god. "About... Last time we meet up." I ease into it, still staring at his lips. Ranch dressing covered some of those pouty lips and I almost groan as he licks them clean. "I'm sorry if you feel weird about it."

"Why would I feel weird about it?" He looks at me; I glance up to his eyes hoping he does not realize I was staring at his lips. Talk about me being a freak. "Maybe I wanted it to happen."

"Well, maybe I-"

"Kurt, you would never guess what Tina and I bought at the mall!" Mercedes interrupts me as Tina, Artie and her walks to the lunch table. FML, woman! Can you not see Kurt and I flirting it up? Do you want your best friend to be single forever and is she seriously cock-blocking me?

I want to glare at her, but I go back to eating my food. These mash potatoes are so good.

Kurt looks over at me, I can feel his eyes but I really don't want to tell him my feelings with the other Glee members around, I know they gossip more than a group of old ladies in a tea party. Which I hope Quinn did not blab my sexuality to everyone; not that I care who knows but I hate having people know things like that. Who I sleep with, or want to sleep with, is no one's business. I turn to Artie as he begins to tell me about what Puck and Finn got him into the whole tournament. Good for him.

Finishing my food, I excuse myself to use the bathroom. I don't even know why I did that, I mean they weren't even talking to me really. I make sure no one is in the restroom and get ready to actually use it when Kurt comes in. Yes, I am pee shy... So I don't actually unzip myself all the way when I see him.

"Don't stop because of me." He smirks. Oh jeeze, does he want to sneak a peek?

"Stage freight." I frown, zipping myself up. "So, need anything?"

"Sort of." Kurt comes closer to me, closing the distance.

The smell of his fruity shampoo fills my nose with the scent of ranch dressing does too. I lean the rest if the way, capturing his soft lips between my own. He even taste good, like coconuts and ranch dressing. He smiles into the kiss, as I nibble on his bottom one, asking to enter. He moans as my tongue rushes into the heat, playing with his own for dominance, which I let him take over. I place my hands on his hips, pulling him closer. He pushes his hips into mine, causing me to gasp. This is not good. I pull back, taking deep breaths, moving my hands from his hips to his arms, following them to his hands that thread themselves to my blonde hair. I pull them away from me, letting them fall back to Kurt.

"Wow." I saw out of breath, my chest heaving. "So... Umm..." Think of something Sam! "That was what you came for right?" I smile, shyly, looking at his slightly red lips. I lick my own still tasting him.

He blushes, "Actually, no." Oh great, he was teasing me and I had to take it farther! "But it's better than what I wanted." He then smiles, that freaking adorable smile of his, he leans over grabbing some paper towels. "We can think it as the ending of what would have happen yesterday." He steals a kiss, while I was in shock, then rushes out to clean up whatever happen out there.

Closing my eyes, I bring my hand up to literally facepalm myself for the sheer stupidity I'm gonna get myself into. You would think I would learn. Ugh! I still need to pee!

* * *

Instead of going to my house to practice our song, I mean the song... We totally are not a couple and do not have a song, we stood in the music room. Kurt is sitting at the piano, while I stand at the end of it playing the guitar, practicing the instrumental parts before adding the singing.

"Why did you break up with Quinn?" Kurt brings out of nowhere, as we end the song. I shrug, strumming out a few more cords. "The whole," He brings his hands up to make quotes. "No touching seems a bit out there."

"I'm an odd person." I shrug again, placing the guitar on the piano. "Maybe I melt when I'm touched?" I try to joke, but he seems unimpressed by me so I stop laughing.

"Seriously, you guys seem really happy and then to just to drop it..." He trails off.

"Just leave it alone." I frown, walking over to sit next to him. I press one of the keys, making a high pitch sound. "It's not important."

"But are you gonna do the same if-" He stops himself, shaking his head. "So, no what? We kissed, is that all?" He changes the subject; I can feel him staring holes into my head.

"Do you want it to end like that?" I keep frowning and staring at the keys.

"No." He says quietly, his hand falls onto mine. "But I don't want it to end so fast."

I glance up to him, our eyes lock but I break it once mire to stare at the keys. "I'm not like you, Kurt. I'm in the closet so deep, I'm scared." I sigh out; being in the closet is not what I am. I'm not in the closet, that would mean no one knows, I'm just stealth. Scared about people finding out I'm Trans, people who I really like to know this and break up with me because of it. "The whole out and proud thing never caught on for me."

"Sam, it's never-"

"HELLO HELLO BABY YOU CALLED? I CAN'T HEAR A THING! I HAVE GOT NO SERVICE IN THE CLUB, YOU SEE, SEE!" My cell rings loudly as Lady Gaga makes us both jump. I try to get to my cell before it goes onward, quickly looking at the caller and breaking out into a grin. Thank you God!

"Sam, when are you coming home?" My father ask with full concern, I guess he wants to forget what had happen, and right now I'm willing to also to avoid this convo with Kurt. "Sam?"

"I'm fine, dad. I'm just finishing up practicing my glee stuff." I inform him, putting the guitar away, not looking at Kurt while I know he is watching my every move. "We forgot about the time, really into making the song come out great."

"Oh," He mutters, saying something about how he thought I was in football and got jumped. "Just come home soon."

"Yeah, I'm leaving now, see ya." Ending the call, I look over to Kurt. His arms cross and a ticked off expression graces his cute face. "What?"

"Sam, this is not going to work out." He sighs, "I can't date a guy," _Whoa! Who said we are dating?_ "Who cannot be honest about himself."

I can be honest about being pansexual, that's not the problem. Hell, I can tell people I'm gay if I want. "Kurt, if we were to do this... We have to go real slow then." I explain, locking with his eyes. That's what Quinn and I did, not that I have told her that but girls are usually slower to the whole touching thing than guys to begin with, from my experience anyways. "And, I'll be out too." I bite my lips.

He lights up though, getting off the bench and gives me a hug. "Really?"

"Well, yeah." I laugh, "Though, ask Quinn, I'm a huge nerd so excuse me," I scratch the back of my head. "If I speak Na'Vi to you, I am so sorry."

"Na'Vi?" Kurt repeats, totally confused. "What's that?"

My jaw drops, "WHAT!" I shake my head as his confusion grows more. "Avatar? Best movie ever?" He shakes his head, not knowing. "Right, no boyfriend of mine cannot know Avatar! You are coming over to watch it!"

"Then no boyfriend of mine dresses like that." He looks me up and down; I frown asking what is wrong with my look. I totally look like a guy. "It's okay, but you will look great in skinny jeans."

"Ugh! Fine!" I laugh, pushing his playfully away. "But you are paying for them." Kurt rolls his eyes. "So, we go slow. See how things are and then work our way up?"

"And you'll come out?" He smiles with hope.

"Yeah." I sigh, at least Kurt means as sexuality wise. "Don't worry."

I leave the music rooms with a smile in my face. My morning was crappy but just got better. I'm getting a boyfriend, my first boyfriend ever. When I got into my car, I sigh in a love sick way, thinking of Kurt's lips. Blasting my iPod I sing with every love song it played for the first time in a long time.

* * *

A/N: weeeeeee~ They kissed, finally D:


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This chapter is mad short so tomorrow I will post chapter 6, like that? BTW I notice people don't review the second time I up date in a week... I'm not sure why, but I'm probably gonna stop up-dating twice a week now. Mmhmm

SONG is Strange by Tokio Hotel feat. Kerli from the Almost Alice CD

_Kurt singing _

**Sam singing **

_**Together singing**_

_**

* * *

**_

_They make you wanna self destruct  
and become someone else  
And when it feels like too much  
Baby don't hurt yourself_

_~Jeffree Star_

"Yes!" I shout, closing the door with a slam as the fedX man goes back to his truck, "Ohmigawd, finally!" I squeal likes little kid who just got Christmas early.

My dad comes from the kitchen with his freshly made decaf coffee in hand, the scent flowing through the room, asking what came. We haven't talked about the fight, but I guess it's better left unsaid.

"It came!" I put the small box over my head like it is a gift from God, which it kind of is in my eyes.

"It?" My father obviously but innocently asks, taking a sip of his drink.

"It." I suggest without saying it since it's a bit embarrassing to say to a parent. He gives me a confuse look which made me groan. "It, dad... It." I glance down, hoping he understands which he does, his mouth going into a perfect O. "I'm going to try it on now!" I jump, skipping up the stairs as if I am going through a field of rainbows, sparkles, and flowers. Yes, that gay and happy.

Locking myself in my room, I look for a playlist my iPod to match my mood, as I press shuffle not paying attention to the words-

"HEY HEY YOU YOU! I DON'T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" A masculine voice of the blonde Canadian screams from my iHome. I found a version of her singing but they made her sound like a guy, which is smoking hot if she ever had a sex change.

Singing with the song, I rip into the box, my excitement not being about to be tame at this point as I pull the item out. Jumping up and down, I take out the instructions to how to apply it on. It takes me about ten minutes to get it on, since I am confuse about what I read, but once done I stare at myself in the mirror.

Okay, a bit creepy but so awesome. I really look complete now, as if I was born male. Oh man, I would take pics if I wasn't underage. Putting a pair of Spiderman boxer, I almost let out a giggle as I take one last look at myself. I rush over to the bathroom, seeing if it works for... Well using the bathroom, which it does and makes me very happy. Then later tonight I will... Experiment more with some alone time if it works like it should be when it comes to the act of sexual activities.

I am so glad I saved up for this instead of bottom surgery. This is like a real penis, in a normal size unlike the surgery that is not so good. I bet I can get laid now, in the dark and if the person is out of it. Shrugging, I place a shirt on and go back downstairs. My father gives me a look, but smiles when he notices my great mood. Taking a seat next to him, he puts on our favorite show, UFO Hunters; we watch right before bed, and places his hand around my shoulders giving me a "bro-hug" as I like to call it. "I'm glad you're happy, kiddo."

Things are totally going my way once more.

* * *

"Are you excited?" Kurt comes up to me before Glee, I had skip lunch to talk to a few of my friends from my old town. "I think we are going to do great!" Of course we are going to do great, Kurt is one of the best singers in our group, I'm lucky he choose to sing with me.

"Can we go first?" I ask him nervously, taking a seat in the first row with Kurt following.

"Why?" He frowns, probably wanting to go last for a bigger effect.

"I have something to do so Imma have to leave after we sing or the first song." I lie through my teeth. I just want to leave after we sing, I don't what to have Quinn or someone else come over and talk to me to see if I'm fine. I look over to him; he seems to not believe me though. Just my luck, so I give him my best charming smile right on time of Quinn coming in giving me an odd look. Super awesome, she's probably thinking I left her just for Kurt. "So, can we do this now?"

"You're scared to come out, right?" Kurt places his hands on my jiggering leg. I flinch away, l glancing around the room seeing Quinn staring at me with an unreadable expression. "Sam?"

I stare at the tiles of the floor, opening my mouth to say something, anything "I-"

"Alright!" Mr. Schue comes in with great excitement, "Who is ready to do their song-" I shoot my hand up, "First." He gives me an odd look but then smiles. "Okay Sam."

Taking a deep breath, Kurt sits at the piano while I grab the guitar. Standing at the end of the black piano, I tune up fast.

"**A freak of nature  
Stuck in reality**

_"I don't fit the picture  
I'm not what you want me to be_  
_Sorry_

**"Under the radar**  
_Out of the system_  
**Caught in the spotlight**  
_That's my existence_  
_**You want me to change**_

_**"But all I feel is…  
Strange, strange  
In your perfect world  
So strange, strange**_  
_**"I feel so absurd in this life  
Don't come closer  
In my arms,  
Forever you'll be strange, strange**_

_"_**You want to fix me, push me  
Into your fantasy**_  
_

"_You try to give me, sell me  
A new personality _**  
**  
_**"You try to lift me  
I don't get better  
What's making you happy  
Is making me sadder  
In your golden cage**_

_**"All I feel is strange, strange  
In your perfect world  
So strange strange  
I feel so absurd in this life  
Don't come closer  
In my arms  
Forever you'll be strange, strange  
Like me  
**_  
"(_Strange_) **When you touch me**  
(_Strange_) **When you kill me**  
(_Strange_) **All I feel is strange**  
**In my dreams together,  
We'll be…  
**  
_"Strange, strange_  
_In your perfect world strange_  
_**Strange!**_ (_I am so strange_),  
_**Strange!**_ (_I am so strange_)  
_**Strange, strange  
In your perfect world  
So strange, strange  
I feel so absurd in this life  
**_

"**Don't come closer  
You'll die slowly  
In my arms,  
Forever you'll **_**be strange, strange  
Like me…"**_

Avoiding eye contact, I place my instrument down, excusing myself from the class room as I grab my bag and leave as fast as I can without running. I make it to the end of the hallway when I hear my name being yelled by my ex. continuing my walk, but in a bit slower pace for some odd reason, Quinn pulls my arm into her to make me turn slightly into her. I keep my head down, so she cannot read my emotions.

"Sam." She says breathless, "Are you okay?"

I roll my eyes, "Yeah." I lie, letting out a sigh.

"I know you're not; just tell me what's wrong." Her voice full of concern.

"You wouldn't understand." I tell her, pulling my arm away locking our eyes.

"Try me." She smiles. I shake my head though, frowning; turning my head away from her. "Sam, you can't keep pushing people away." Her hand brushes up my arms to my neck. "What are you scared of?"

I place my hands on her own; grabbing them I push them away. "Quinn, I'm sorry." I tell her, "But I'm not normal." I smile, sadly. Her eyes narrow in thought. "I like you, but it wouldn't have worked out. I like Kurt too..." I trail off, running my hands through my hair.

"But it wouldn't work out either?" She finishes off for me, shaking her head. "Sam, none of us are normal. Sure you might be a bit of a geek, but so what? Kurt is more girly than all of us females in Glee, whatever is up with you can't be that bad."

"You have no idea." I mumble; Quinn apparently doesn't hear me though.

"Just go in there." She grabs my shoulders, "Look everyone in the eye and just come out. You'll feel so much better." She smiles causing me to smile also.

I nod, "Just give me a minute."

Giving me one last squeeze, she gives me a friendly kiss and walks back to the Glee room. I can do two things. Run home, avoid everyone for the rest of my life till I can convince my father to home school me, and lock myself in my room playing WoW and Starcraft all day and night. Or, I can just run in there, tell everyone I am gay, I mean bisexual, and Transgender, punch Puck in the face when he calls me a Tranny, and finally give Kurt a huge passionate kiss that will have him in love with me forever and ever; even if I am not a hundred percent complete male.

Letting out a sigh, I run through the doors taking a deep breathe and yell out in a confident, proud tone, "I'm gay!"

"I knew it!" The Spanish girl laughs.

What... Shit! "No! I mean, I'm bi! Bisexual!" I panic, looking at everyone. Kurt, Quinn, Santana, and Britney giggling. Puck, Mike, Artie and Finn look confuse and shock; though Puck looks a bit gross out. Tina and Mercedes just nod to each other like they knew all along. "Okay... Peace!" I run out of the room once more, this time for good. Well, for the day so I can crawl under my bed and die.

* * *

A/N: Thinking of making a Tumblr account for my fanfic stuffs... ANYWAYS! Review! KAY? THANKS! The product that Sam got is like awesome... I want it so badly... D:


	6. Chapter 6 plus extra

A/N: Sorry I didn't post this like I said. Honestly, nothing kept me up from it after I posted a new story. I just started playing video games and forgot about it cause I'm a horrible person.

Also! My tumblr is **alexanderisahuman**, I am on all the time. _I really just want people to use my ask box… :( _

No quote cause I cannot think one.

* * *

"Today is going to be fierce!" I exclaim as I pull my shoes on, my father laughs at my choice of words. I need to stop watching Logo.

"And why is that?" He asks, helping putting my breakfast together while I check myself over the mirror a few times trying to make my hair look messy but hot. "Wait, do I want to know?"

"Probably not, but it's fabulous news." I shrug, tossing my hair and realizing it looks good no matter what. "I'm gonna ask Kurt out today, after we win the last football game of the year."

"Oh." My father frowns, probably not use to the idea of me dating guys. This is kind of cool, that means he seems me as a guy but at the same kind it's kind of homophobic... "Well, Kurt seems like a nice guy." I think back to him, Kurt is kind of nice. Other than making fun of the clothing most people wear and sounding like a diva, Kurt is nice and cute. I let out a love sick sigh. "What if you don't win?" My dad points out the hole in my plan, making me groan. Frowning, and slightly pouting, I shrug. "If I may, just sing him a song."

"Dad, I love you but that's corny."

* * *

Coach runs the play over and over, yelling at us if we screw up she will make our lives living hell. I like our coach, not like crush like I would have on Mrs. Pillsbury though nowhere close; coach is like one of the most awesome female adults I know. She had us skip lunch, eating pizza during our meeting in the locker room. I sat in the back, sending a message that I need to talk to him after the game. He replies with a smiley face and saying he will be at the game cheering me on. How cute is that? I never had a girlfriend who came to one of my games to cheer me on before, I mean Quinn is part of the Cheerios so that doesn't count and I went to an all boy's school... Kurt is so adorable!

Anyways, since this is our big last game, I haven't been able to have time to ask Kurt on a date nor go to Glee. Football is really important for my image, it's a manly sport. I told Mr. Schue that I need to do this last week and just focus on football, at first he seem sadden by the news but after I tried to tell him how important it is for me, without telling him the big secret, he got the idea. Hell, he even wished me luck!

"Okay guys," Coach sighs, catching my attention. "Tonight we give them hell!"

* * *

The crisp fall air burns, I take deep breaths through my nose to help stop the pain in my lungs as I bend over. Finn sprains his ankle by a cheap shot on the other team and I am out for blood. The numbers of our team gets call into the night, my teammates moved into their positions, my hands pull at the wet leaves as I take a final breath before getting the ball into action I look around into the crowd, tons of faceless people jumping and cheering for us. I stare at the guy who is suppose to take me down, glaring at him with so much rage as he gives me a smug look. He is the reason Finn is down, I saw it happen as he tackle the tall guy into the ground.

The thrower screams for the ball to get into play, pushing myself with all my might into number thirty-nine, I yell hoping that I can summon more strength needed to take him out. The slightly taller guy grunts as I tackle him to the ground, giving a sharp yell in pain, I laugh a bit. Pulling him by his helmet I scream at him to stay down, getting back up I look at Puck running with the ball to the end of the field. Two guys on the other team follow him swiftly, I couldn't get to him even if I tried. My breath gets stuck in my throat as I see one guy launch himself to the Jewish guy, I scream for him to move, even though us cannot hear me, my legs taking me as fast as I can to him even though I know I cannot reach him on time. Puck dashes to the side, as the launcher misses, my heart beats faster.

Then it burst.

Puck makes it; throwing the ball into the ground, jumping up and down and doing a flip. I jump up in excitement as the rush of winning the game fills my body. Running to him as the rest of the team does the same; we all tackle him with a friendly hug, shouting with glee.

Looking out to where Finn sat hurt, I see Kurt hugging his step-brother. I rush over to them, pulling my helmet off. Kurt doesn't see me as I grab him into a hug, pressing my chap lips onto his strawberry flavor ones, moaning into them. He pulls back, blushing like mad but a smile creeps onto his bright face. Grinning, I press a final kiss on his nose, pulling away going back to the team into the locker room.

I should have known what I did was going to be seen, but in the spree of the moment I do crazy stuff like kissing boys in the middle of a public area. None of the guys said anything, as I go through my locker getting my stuff out to take a quick shower. Most games everyone just goes home, so hopefully I can just shower here and then ask Kurt on a winning game date. Man, I cannot wait to kiss those lips again. Licking my lips, while pulling off my jersey and shoulder pads, I still taste strawberries and almost let out a moan of the thought of kissing those soft, yet boyish lips.

"Saw you kiss the fag." Karofsky spat out in anger, shoving me into my locker as I turn around to go to the shower area.

"I kissed some sticks? I think you mean Kurt." I point out, glaring at the buff guy. I glance around, taking in who are watching, some guys that seem cool with me and the Glee guys. At least I know they got my back if a fight happens. "And what is it to you? You're jealous?" I smirk, pushing his hands off of me.

He shoves me back though, "Listen homo, this team doesn't need another one of your kind."

"Listen, douche bag." I shove him away, "The world doesn't need your fucking stupid kind." He flares with anger, going to shove me once more but I clench my fist to ready an attack. "I swear, all you're kind do is call people fag but you're the ones that seems really gay, all you talk about is them and everyone knows closet-cases are homophobic!" I shout out, pushing him into the locker, "So, next time think twice about what you say! You might think you're manly but, hell, you're probably gayer than Kurt!"

Right there and then, I knew I said some stupid things. Karofsky will push me into the locker hard, reeling his right arm back to get a good punch, I flinch, ready to move away, and then punch him in the jaw when-

"Stop!" Artie yells.

The buff jock makes his move, I block it easily going in for the kill when someone grabs my arms pulling me away from the dick as Puck and some other guys pull him away from me. The buff guy yells that he is going to kill me; I scream back he's a pussy. Coach comes in, follow by Artie, who somehow races over to her, she pulls Karofsky out of the locker yelling at him.

I let out a deep breath, letting my head fall back into the person's holding me chest. Looking up, I see Finn frowning. I give a grin though. "Dude, you could have died." The giant tells me, letting me go with a blush. I give out a shrug, walking over to the shower area. "Seriously, what would have I told Kurt if you did?" I look over to him in shock, pretty much not expecting him to accept Kurt and I being together since Finn was the one not wanting us to do the duet together...

"I died in protecting his honor." I saw with a British accent, trying to sound like a knight. It earns a laugh though, which makes me happy. "Hey, can you do me a huge favor?" Finn nods, smiling a bot. "Can you make sure Karofsky doesn't come into the shower room to kill me? That would not be good."

Finn laughs, "No problem dude."

* * *

Taking the fastest shower in my whole life, I change into drool worthy clothing I know Kurt would love. I know he loves skinny jeans on guys so I found a pair I use to wear a lot, they were a bit worn out with a few holes but they still look cool. Shirt wise, I didn't know what to wear so I just grabbed the first shirt that is tight enough but still good, it's a grey shirt with pink strings making a boom-box from American Eagle. Towel drying my hair, I come out of the shower area seeing Finn and Puck waiting for me. I give them a smile as a thank you.

"So, you're gonna go out with Kurt tonight?" Finn asks, seeming uncomfortable with the idea. I nod, taking out a drier, some hair mousse and styling wax. "Where are you taking him out?" His voice reminds me of what an older would sound like.

"The park." I shrug, doing my hair fast in the speed I have mastered over the years of being late in middle school, and the fact having a lot shorter hair helps too. "I made some food for us."

"I still can't believe you are gonna go out with him." Puck groans, getting his stuff together. "I now can only see you in this gay light, everything you do seems gay now."

"I'm doing my hair." I point out, styling it as I glare at Puck from the mirror. "Of course I look gay." That earns a laugh from both guys, which makes me smile I can joke about being gay, easing the tension from the room. "And don't worry Finn, I'm not going to rape your bro." Finn makes a face of pure grossed out, rewarding a laugh from Puck and I. Taking a deep breath, I turn around my hand comes up to rub the back of my head as I let out a nervous chuckle. "So, do I think okay?"

"I'm not a fag." Puck rolls his eyes, "But you look good, man." He nods his approval.

I look over to Finn who gives me a nod also. "Just don't do anything weird, Kurt is gonna go in details I will never be able to look at you ever again."

"Why would he do that?" Puck asks, as we all make our way to the exit.

"Cause he told me once he gets a date, his gonna do the same thing as I do to him when I come back from a date."

"Ouch!" I laugh, "Sweet, sweet revenge." Upon opening the door, I see Kurt sitting with Rachel waiting for us to come get them. I smile as Kurt looks up, his eyes widen with a smile gracing his lips. Trying not to look impatient, I walk over to him and take his hand into mine. I bring his soft hand up to my lips and press onto him softly, a smile still on my mouth and on his. "Shall we go?"

He laughs at my corny line, nodding. I would love to capture his lips but I don't think PDA in front of his brother is a great idea if I want to live, I don't know if Finn is the overly protected type and I am not willing to put my future balls on the line for that. "Yes we shall." Kurt says, his voice rings with mirth.

Screw my balls.

I lean closer, placing a firm but soft kiss onto his smooth, strawberry flavor lips.

* * *

A/N: Well, since nothing really happen in this chapter and I suck at writing date scenes… Here's some omakes, Japanese word for extra, to make up for it. I still love but hate this chapter though.

* * *

**SAM'S OMAKE (aka Extras)**

_Omake one_:

Kurt burns holes into my head as I try to run from the zombies coming into the lab. First day of Black Ops release just had to be the day I invited Kurt over too. I knew I did something weird by asking him to come over, I felt that itch in the back of my brain.

"Kurt, please stop." I feel my right eye twitch as I hear the cute boy let out a sigh.

"Sam," He starts in the voice that I know he is gonna make me feel belittled. "You invited me here and all you are doing is playing video games." He lets himself fall onto my Star Wars bed sheet with a huff, his fruity scent of his body sprays wraps around my senses making me hold back a moan of delight. "Honestly." He sighs letting his head fall onto my shoulder.

I tense up a bit, getting punched by the lab zombies as I run around the room a few times and shoot the ones falling behind the pack. "Kurt, I am _so_ sorry, but I forgot Black Ops was coming out today since football and Glee took over my life and-"

"We can make-out if you stop playing." He says in a drop dead sexy voice.

I drop the controller letting my character cry out in pain as I jump on top of the thinner boy, pinning him to my bed and pressing my lips onto his smirk. _Damn, he got me._ Trying to pull away was pointless as he pulls me back down, playfully biting onto my lips. Letting a sigh out, he sneaks his banana smoothie flavor tongue into my mouth, dominating me with ease which makes me shiver. His left hand travel from my back, under my Pokemon shirt as I let out a breathy laugh cause I'm ticklish guy and that I'm nervous. His smooth hands lightly tickles it's way to my sides, mapping out my abs and searching it's way to my chest. Letting out a muffle moan, I take his hand pulling it away from its spot and drop it over my neck. Leaning down, I grind myself onto him, giving his a little something extra so I can take over the kiss, pulling his soft chocolate hair to deepen our lips even more. His hands, yet again, wonder down my back, under my shirt. I take both of his hands into my right one, pinning them above his head so he can't touch me anymore. He lets out a frustrated groan, his tongue wrapping around my own, trying to deepen the kiss more.

Oh, of course the whole _having to breathe to live_ kicks in after a few seconds as I push myself off before I can pass out of being kissed, how embarrassing would that be? Even if I am over reacting, it would suck. Kurt's face is flushing a bright pink as he breathes deeply, his exhales tickling my hair to move over my eyes. Moving my hand from behind his head, I mess up his hair before I sit up, grabbing my remote once more to play Black Ops.

"Now, either you can play with me and every kill you get you win a kiss." I lure him, placing the purple Xbox remote before him as he sits up fixing his probably black Ralph Lauren shirt that was exposing his belly. "Or you can be bored dating the hottest geek ever." I give him a charming smile that makes all the ladies, and some gentlemen, want me.

"Hottest geek?" Kurt laughs, taking the remote at least. "Someone's ego is huge. You are cute than hot, baby." He teases, I hope, as I let him make his classes for the game.

"Dude, feed my ego." I playfully whine, I lean down and place a kiss on his check. "_Nga yawne lu oer_." I say in Na'Vi.

"_Je vous aime, aussi_." Kurt smiles in French.

Jeeze, we are such nerds.

* * *

A/N: They said I love you… I think. I google'd Na'Vi and French translation since I do not speak either.


	7. Chapter 7 plus extra 2

A/N: Due to lack of reviews, I _might_ not update it on this site anymore. It's a waste of my time. Also I did not mean to forget to update this, I had to write a paper for my honors class, tons of problems at home, and trying to get over some depressing stuff. I'm in the process of writing chapter 8, which may take awhile to come up if I do not want it depressing...

* * *

_I want your loving  
And I want your revenge  
You and me could write a bad romance_

_~Lady Gaga_

Butterfly kisses and sweet sighs from Kurt usually makes my mornings great before school comes along and ruins it. It's been a few months, with a few dates, since the football game and while I thought we would be together by now; we aren't. If anything, we hardly are an item. I know it's my fault for wanting to go slow, but seriously my hormones are going crazy when I see Kurt. As two teenage boys, you would think we'd be making out like every day and everywhere but something changed after the mash-up we did. Kurt stop kissing me so much and I am missing it. My great mornings have change for the worst and honestly I have a feeling it's only effecting me since Kurt is still all smiles.

I wonder what happen at Dalton's School for boys.

Taking my hundredth sigh, while taking a head shot off of Finn, I bite my lips in thought of what could possible I have done wrong to make Kurt not want to be with me. Maybe it's the whole let's go slow is messing our relationship up or the fact I haven't ask him to be my boyfriend. Ugh, I suck at dating guys. I let out a sigh once more.

"Dude, stop." Finn groans, pauses the game while turning to me. "What is up with you? You've been sighing non-stop and you're being more brutal in game. So, spill it." He takes the remote from my hand, placing both his and mine on the floor.

"You really do not want to go down this path," I run my hands through my hair, keeping my eyes away from Finn's figure and away from Kurt's side of the room which is a hard task. "Giving dating advice, gay dating if I may add, to your brother's lame almost-boyfriend seems kind of weird."

"If it means you'll stop being so harsh while playing video games, then yes I want to help you. Plus, bro's before ho's."

"Kurt is a boy..." I inform the obvious fact; Finn doesn't answer.

Sneaking a peek, Finn seems distracted. He licks his lips, "Does this have to do with him talking to Blaine all the time?"

"Blaine?" I frown, turning my attention fully to the giant.

"Well, after Kurt came back from spying from those guys, he won't stop talking about Blaine like he was the greatest thing since Pokémon." Finn frowns, "But I thought nothing of it since, you know, you guys are dating." He shrugs, in a lifeless kind of way as he relays a message that I do not want to hear but I need to.

Swallowing thickly, I can feel my heart thundering in my chest, "What does he say about this guy?"

Finn shakes his head, "Mostly that he finally has meet a gay guy, talking about how awesome their glee club is and how great the guy's voice is from singing Teenage Dream. It's just the way he says it though, like..." Finn trails off, standing up, pacing the room. "I mean, you guys are together so nothing to worry about."

I want to tell him with a cocky laugh that I have nothing to worry about but I feel sick as I do worry about the first guy I am falling for in a long time is falling for another guy as I try my ways of wooing the fashion diva. Even if I do get Kurt to be with me, once he finds out I was a girl he's just gonna get up and go for this Blaine dude. Frowning, I turn to look at Kurt's side of the room, glaring at his perfectly made bed. "We're not really together." I frown more, speaking those words make everything seem so more real, that Kurt is not mine and he can just get up and go with some other guy, a biological male who is gay. That's something they have in common straight up, they're both gay. I know some guys who only date gay guys and not bisexual since bisexual guys can leave them for a female or most bi dudes are just pricks who want to experiment, and I'm not one of those bi guys. "Crap, this is uncool." I sigh, letting my head fall into my hands as I rub my eyes making little star like shapes.

"Well, I know you better than this Blaine dude so if it means anything I hope Kurt goes for you."  
"Yeah, well I have a feeling this is not going to end well..."

Finn stops his pacing; his fist makes impact with his palm as he makes a triumph sound. "I know what you should do!"

"No, I'm not singing to him." I add quickly, which earns a frown. What's with everyone solution is singing about your love?

* * *

Being fashion forward was something I was into when I was younger. I would wear the best outfits so people wouldn't think I was weird, guys drooled over me while I walked in high heel Gucci shoes and short skirts. I mainly dressed like that for my mother to love me more, so she wouldn't think I was a freak. Not that it worked out in the end. I still know brand names, I still watch fashion shows, and I still love to shop so being fashion forward is easy to get back into but that means not fitting in with the rest of the guys. Who cares though? Kurt doesn't and from what it seems like he wants a boyfriend like him and if this Blaine do is like that then I am going to have to be like that.

Looking through my clothing, I find an older pair of light blue skinny jeans, older and yet tighter pair, but I can make it work. These pants were probably from three years ago, since they actually fit. I was a bit on the chubby side, then after my mother calling me fat all the time I kind of went on an extreme weight loss plan, which was not times I like to remember. Anyways, the jeans fit well, tight in all the right places and when packing it shows off the curves of my pelvic area in a drool worthy state. Honestly, if I went out without my shirt, people will be flocking to this God like body. Man, I can totally be a model! Bringing my arms up, I fleck them like a Greek god would.

"Sam, really?"

Turning in horror, I see my dad give me a funny look and a frown. "Um, hey dad." I grin, letting my arms fall and make my way to the closet to find a shirt.

"I thought you were over with those kinds of jeans phase."

"Dad, these jeans are in, everyone wears them." I shrug, taking out a sky blue shirt. Placing it on, it's a bit tight and if I raise my arms it shows off skin. Prefect! "Plus Kurt loves skinny jeans." My dad makes an hm sound of being in thought; I turn around seeing him frowning. "What?"

"Nothing." He shrugs, the frown still on his face though. "Have you told him yet?"

Turning away from him, I go through my book bag making sure all my things were in there. "No, but it's not like we are gonna have sex. Jeeze dad, you make me seem likes sex fiend."

"But you shouldn't be leading that kid on." The disappointment rages thickly in the air. I wince a but as those words register in my brain.

"So, you want me to break up with him?" I snap, "Cause no one is gonna be okay with me, dad." Placing my bag on my back, I let out a deep sigh making my way to leave. "Anyways, he's probably gonna just go for some other dude since I'm taking things to slow to be his boyfriend."

"Sam, I'm-"

"Whatever." I interrupt, knowing he can't be that sorry.

* * *

"Hey Sam." The blonde Cheerio smiles at me, as she holding hands with the Hispanic girl. "Lookin' hot." She winks, and then walks away with Santana who glares at me. Man, I would totally go for Britney. Bisexual's are the best to date when you're like me. Too bad Santana has to be a bitch and not let anyone really date Britney, not that I should go for her since the blonde girl gives a whole new meaning to dumb blonde and I do like Kurt.

Talking about Kurt, I need to find him. Running to his locker, I see him smiling but texting someone. No doubt it's freaking Blaine. I swear, if I see that guy I'm gonna mess him up. Mercedes was giggling next to him as he probably reads the text, giggling himself. Frowning, but not letting it get to me; I move closer to the brunette leaning on the lockers, putting my arm over his head so my shirt rides up. The black girl gives me a look through as if I was a crazy white boy no doubt as she lets out a breathy laugh. This alerts Kurt, not my presence or the fact my arm his touching his soft hair, which makes him looks me up and down, his blue-green eyes stopping at the skin that peek out from my shirt. "Sam?" His eyes lock with my own, I let out a smile. "I approve of your attire." He smiles at me.

"Thanks," I lean down, closer to his ear so I can whisper. "I was thinking of you while I was dressing." I let out a small chuckle as his face burns up. "Wondering how you'll react if we got alone and you took them off me." Okay, very daring move but whatever. I press my lips against his cheek, earning some gasp from people around us and a girly squeal from Mercedes. "Well, see ya, babe." I place a quick kiss on the side of his lips and almost skip away to my class.

Yeah, let that settle in Kurt's mind. Oh man, I have it good! Blaine cannot steal Kurt from me since I see him a lot more, also if I know anything from pass relationships physical contact helps. I don't even know why I was freaking out now, Kurt wouldn't just drop me because I won't let him touch me below the waist, first off that's a stupid reason. Sure my dad makes it seems like Kurt is gonna flip out when he realize I was female but if Kurt likes me as much as the nights we would spend with each other, cuddling watching sci-fi movies as he would whisper into my ear saying he likes me.

After my third class, Puck, Artie, and Finn comes down the hall with the tall guy excited grinning like mad. In a rush, childish way, Finn asks about how the plan was coming together. Being excited also, I tell him that I have a great feeling that it is going to work. Oh course Puck just has to ruin everything saying it is not going to work, which makes Finn and I excitement die off.

"Just saying." Puck shrugs, "I have way more experience with dating and I think I know a thing or two in bagging in some chicks."

"Kurt is not a girl though." I point out once again; a bit confused on why so many people think he's a girl. Wait, is Kurt Trans? No, I highly doubt it.

"Well, one of you are gonna take the rule of the girlfriend." The Mohawk wearer grins, "So, unless you like to take it up the ass; I have a feeling it's Kurt." Wow, what an asshole.

"I think Puck means," Artie butts in shaking his head, but his voice full of concern. "People like Kurt love romance. Showing off your abs is not gonna cut it-"

"Though it helps!" Puck grins.

"But," He turns to head to glare at the Jewish guy. "Showing him that you like him will."

"So... You want me to sing?" I frown.

"Chicks love that." Puck nods.

"And Kurt is close to being a girl." Finn smiles, "I mean, he did say he's an honorary girl before." Oh Kurt, you cute weirdo.

"So, why are you guys gonna help me?" I rub the back of my head. They say nothing though, Puck looking at anywhere but me. Artie opens his mouth but he says nothing in the end. "I know Finn's reason." The bell for the next class rings, Artie says that they need to get to class as I watch Puck and him move quickly. Finn pats my back, almost reassuring way saying that they were probably embarrass to say they want to help me. "We should do that song." I look up to Finn, "Show him who can do it better."

Finn grins, "We will make this song rock out loud!"

* * *

Skipping lunch was not part of the plan, if anything going to lunch and flirting it up with Kurt while making sure he doesn't text that almost-boyfriend stealer was a hundred percent of the plan. But whatever, I need to get Kurt back to think about me when he does those love sick sighs cause from what I am hearing from Finn, Kurt is totally doing that with Blaine. Now, mind you, I am totally not jealous! I'm just scared, really scared and I know if I tell Kurt before he falls in love with me that I was female, he will leave me for Blaine. I know, I'm a selfish guy, but I need to get into a relationship that works for once in my life.

Anyways!

Finn, Puck, Artie, Mike and I sat in the music room planning this song out into a more rock an' roll version of Teenage Dream. Mike teaches me some easy but somewhat sexy dance moves that make me believe he does tons of strip teases for Tina or he's a stripper. No man, Asian or not, should be able to dance like an exotic dancer; but that God I have him to teach me this. Puck throws the idea of actually stripping off some of my clothing and throwing it at Kurt, while singing, to boost the points up. I glare at him as answer. Finn, Artie, Puck and I go through the song a few times, as I teach the guitar players how to do a rock version.

This is gonna work. It has to work. Kurt will fall in love with me, I can run over to Blaine and punch his stupid face, and then Kurt and I will exchange our love by speaking in Na'Vi. Oh, how I can dream such greatness.

We plan to go forth with the song during lunch time tomorrow. Mainly because in an open crowd confessing your attraction to another causes the other to think you really mean it more than a small group among friends. So, that means Kurt will take me seriously plus I will be coming out to the whole school that indeed I am bisexual, but to them I will just be gay cause there is no such thing as bisexual in our world... Apparently. Like I said before though, I have no problem coming out as pansexual. It's no one business and I'm not gonna lie about it if asked, though.

"So this Blaine guy, I wonder how he looks likes." Artie muses out loud. I know that's on my mind, maybe on Finn's too.

"Well, princess is such a hard ass." Puck laughs, which is weird he just called Kurt princess but it's kind of funny too. "He's totally the shallow type; why else did he have a huge crush on Finn!" I shudder at the thought of Finn and Kurt dating... Then I remember all those Japanese comics with brothers in relationship that I like but then realize these are real people. "Then he had a crush on you." Puck points at me. "But you went out with Quinn."

"So he thought you were straight." Finn concludes, "And now he likes Blaine."

"Probably not to get hurt." Artie thinks of loud. "This makes no sense since you guys were dating for a while."

"Man, I'm just failing at dating." I frown, placing my head in my hands as I take a deep breath. "I should just let him go."

"What! No way!" Finn shouts, causing me to jump up and look at him. "He's dating the enemy!"

"This is gonna be like the homo version of Rachel and Jesse!" Puck groan, "I rather have you date Kurt than let him leak info out!" I stare at them in confusion but Puck tells me not to worry about it. "I still stand by saying strip while singing though."

I don't understand why Puck wants me to strip so much...

* * *

**Kurt's POV OMAKE**

_Omake two:_

Sam pushes me into the bed as I let out small whines for him to let go of my hands so I can touch him. I don't understand why he won't let me touch him; it cannot be that he is insecure of his body… I mean, he did play Rocky for our play and he loves to flaunt his abs every time he can. Hell, Finn got to see those abs more than I did, and Finn is straight! This is not fair like at all!

"Sam, please." I try to move my hands but he holds them, our fingers laced together. He sucks on my neck, moaning probably a no. "Sam, seriously, stop." I growl out, clearly pissed off. He pulls away, completely, letting our hands unlace each other as mine fall to my sides. He frowns, like a kicked puppy, which I would feel sorry for him but honestly we have been doing this dating thing for awhile and nothing has happen. While I'm not one to just get in bed and have sex, I would really like to touch him at least a bit more than I do. Hell, I wouldn't mine grinding off his hot bod! I at least expect him to want to _pressure_ me a bit more into a handjob or something!

"What's wrong? I'm making sure I don't leave a hicky…" He pouts a bit, his blue eyes widening.

I sigh, shaking my head. "Sam, are you sure you're gay?"

"I'm bi." He corrects me fast, causing me to roll my eyes since seriously there is no sure thing as bisexuals. It's all a myth, gawd.

"But are you sure?" I point out. "Normal _bisexual_ guys would want to do more than kissing, and I know you said let's take it slow but this is really slow. You don't want to get off at all?"

"Wait, what!" His face flushes red, "Kurt, I'm not some sex addict like Puck! Wow, I mean… wow." He runs his hands over his face, saying wow over and over but laughing nervously. "I'm just not like those guys. I can control myself."

"Well, if we are going to be together, you don't have to control yourself all the time. I would like to touch you at least under your shirt." I cross my arms over my chest and glaring at him as he opens his mouth to interrupt but I start once more, "And do not play that _you think you're fat _card because I've seen it. Sweet Gaga, I saw you in the shower, wet and naked!" If anything Sam blushes wildly even more, opening and closing his huge month like a carp. "So, just give me something to work with."

I can see the panic rise in him as he takes a deep breath, closing those deep blue eyes as he tries to collect himself. I feel bad now, making him feel uncomfortable, but I need to make sure he is gay. He gives me a cheeky smile, "Fine, I'll let you touch a bit more."

He leans closer, pressing his lips against mine. I quickly respond to it, wrapping my arms around his neck and moaning as our tongues shyly press one another. I move my right hand down his back, feeling his taunt muscles as his body takes in air, while his breath hits my face. Pressing soft, quick kissing on those lips; I move my hands under his blue shirt. He tenses as my hands map out his hard abs, I try to lock our eyes but he closes them as if trying to block the feeling away. I must disgust him.

Pulling back my hand, I sigh. "Forget it." I grumble, letting my back hit his bed.

He opens his eyes, looking at me frowning. "Sorry…"

Smiling sadly knowing he is really that into guys, I tell him, "It's fine."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Sorry for the long wait… Sam is getting harder to write for some reason but due to that, and that the story is almost ending, I'm starting a new Transgender glee fic. It's called King For A Day so if you like this you might like that one. (sooo keep an eye out for it? Totally odd Kurt pairing though)

* * *

_A boyish notion of false emotion  
These words are spoken, despite my love  
A fool's devotion was set in motion  
My eyes are open now_

_~ The Birthday Massacre_

When I got home my father is talking on the phone with a huge smile on his face. This is the first I have seen him so happy in a long time, probably the last time I saw him smile like this was before I came out as Transgender and mother left. Well, it's nice to see him smiling once more. Instead of interrupting him, I make my way to my room to think more on what to do while singing to Kurt. I'm seriously going for the strip tease but I'm way too nervous to do so. What I can do is...

Oh man. I know what to do.

Making a quick call to Kurt ask if he is busy, he answers with a strain no which makes me a bit paranoid but I shrug it off telling him I am coming over. Running down the stairs telling my dad I am going out with the guys so he doesn't freak out on me or the person on the phone, I hear him say "Okay!" and "Yeah, that's Sam." I wonder who he can be talking to, but instead of wanting to know who my father is talking to, I rush to my car. Kurt is the main thing in my life right now. Get him to like me enough so when I break the news he won't leave me for that Blaine kid. I swear, if I lose to a bio male... I'm done with dating for the rest of my life.

Kurt doesn't live that far from me but I don't want to seem like I'm rushing so I drive pretty slow. Looking into the rear mirror to make sure my hair is okay and running my hands over my chest. I realize this plan is stupid; I should just wait to do the song and have Kurt realize that I am a way better singer, dancer, and possible the thought of sex will happen one day since that other guy goes to an all boys school. But this plan is promising that Kurt will get it in, that he'll just remember that I'm here for him whenever he wants. Ugh, man I have to think things through before rushing in! Screw this! I cannot back out now. Getting out of the car, I make my way to the door, which to me felt like light years since I'm panicking a bit. Taking a deep breath, I ring the bell and just wait for the cute gay kid to open the door. I smile when it opens but frown to see Finn.

"Dude, hey." He smiles, not noticing my frown.

"Kurt is here, right?" I ask, wondering why he wouldn't want to open the door since he knew I am coming. But seriously, I shouldn't be freaking out. Kurt could be in the bathroom.

"Yeah, he's on the phone..." He pulls of face of distaste, "With Blaine."

My heart stops. I should have known he is keeping his options wide open. "Oh." Is all I manage to say. "Um... What were they talking about?"

"Ugh, so many stuff." Finn runs his hands over his face but moves out of the way to let me in, I do so and close the door behind me. "Really girly stuff too."

"Well, that's g-"

Finn's hand covers my mouth, giving me a stern glare. "I wouldn't finish that if I were you. Burt doesn't like that kind of talk."

Finn moves his hand away from my mouth. "Who is-"

"Who was that Finn?" An older man comes into the room. I wonder if this man is Kurt's father, which is a bit weird since they look nothing alike. I mean, this man is wearing a baseball cap with plaid! "Oh, you one of Finn's friends." He gives me a look through.

"Um, yeah." I smile, as kindly as I can that I know parents love. "I'm Sam! I'm Finn's friend and Kurt's..." I pause, frowning slightly but smile once more. "I'm Kurt's boyfriend."

The older guys repeats the word boyfriend as if it is foreign to him. As him hums in thought, he tells me to sit on the couch so he can get his son. Finn automatically sits next to me, "Dude, this is not good." I ask him why not but Finn doesn't answer when Mr. Hummel comes back into the room, sitting right before us.

"So, you're Kurt's boyfriend." He says, not ask which is reminding of when I met Quinn's mother but a bit different since her mom loved me. I'm starting off fresh and meeting dads never been my specialty. So I nod, not knowing what to say. "Hm, Kurt didn't tell me about a boyfriend." He looks over to Finn, maybe even glaring a bit. "You knew about this?"

"Ummm..." Great job, Finn. You sound so smart.

So, to protect myself from not getting shot at, I interrupt. "Kurt and I are taking things slow, hopefully he sees me as his soon to be boyfriend but it's not official." I frown.

"Hmm." Oh my god, I'm so nervous. I never had to deal with fathers before, if anything I stop seeing the person before I had to meet the father. I don't know why, but fathers tend to freak me out a bit. "Finn, why don't you see what's taking Kurt so long." I look over to Finn with fear as he frowns and gets up quickly to get Kurt. I swallow thickly as I know what is going to happen. "Let me say this quick." Mr. Hummel states with a demanding voice as I stare at him feeling I am going to wet myself in the worst way ever. "You break my kid's heart or touch him in the wrong way, I'll be getting my shotgun." I open my mouth to tell him, if anything Kurt will be breaking my heart and no way would I be forcing myself upon him either but the shock of hearing the threat kind of freaks me out a lot. I close my mouth before I look stupid and just nod a yes. Man, where is Kurt or Finn? "Good." Mr. Hummel smiles, "You seem like a nice guy but I know your type." Oh yeah? What type is that? "Blonde jock who thinks he can just play with whatever he wants."

I narrow my eyes a bit, "I'm not like that, Mr. Hummel. I know what I am and experimenting was, nor is, ever my thing." I sigh, "Plus, Kurt is awesome. I will be lucky for him to accept me." I let out a smile, slightly daydreaming about Kurt and I as a couple.

"Hm." Is all it takes for me to know that Mr. Hummel does not believe me. Damn my status as a jock.

"Dad, I hope you're not scaring Sam." I hear his voice, which I light up seeing Kurt come into the room looking beautiful as ever. Man, Kurt can totally work those skinny jeans so well. "Sorry, Sam, if something happen. I was on the phone with Mercedes." He lies; a small smile is on his lips like he knows he is lying. I glance at Finn who was frowning and rolling his eyes.

"It's fine." I say, trying to conceal that my heart is breaking though. "You guys are best friends, totally understandable."

Kurt frowns, looking uncomfortable, probably because he lied to me. "Yeah. Why don't we go downstairs? I have something important to tell you." He still doesn't smile meaning only one thing. But I place my own forced smile and hope for the best, praying to God as I follow him down stairs to his and Finn's room. It is a awkward and silent short journey that feels like his room is hours away. I can feel my heart beating faster and faster as I take a seat on his bed. Kurt doesn't sit down, he paces before me while keep looking at his cell phone. I don't know what to say or to so to stop him from telling me whatever bad news it is so I just sit here waiting. He opens his mouth, but shakes his head. He stops before me, smiling sadly and sighs. "I want to tell you before I tell everyone else." He swallows thickly, fixing his hair without looking into a mirror and even thought it's prefect. "I'm going to Dalton tomorrow, transferring there." My heart stops. No... He can't. "And I think it's best if we don't continue this." he waves at us, "Whatever we have before it grows to much. I don't want my first relationship to be long distance."

"But." I shake my head, standing up and moving to him, trying to take his hand in mine but he pulls away. "I'm ready to tell you things I never told anyone before. I really like you and hoping for you to be the one." I frown. "I'm don't mind the long distance, I can handle it. You wouldn't worry about me cheating!"

"But I don't know if you would have to worry about me!" He moves away, turning his back to me. "There's an open guy at Dalton and I really like him, I don't want to cheat on you but seriously... I'm gay, there's no one else like me in McKinley. You can just go date a girl in the end."

"I don't want a girlfriend! I want you." I place both hands on his shoulders, making him face me. "I want you, I... I love you."

Instead of having his run into my arms saying he loves me too, pushing us into the bed as we make out hotly and I finally tell him my secret and he is fine with it as we make sweat love, Kurt rolls his eyes.

Breaking my heart…

"I'm sorry, but it's best if we break up." he takes my hands and pulls them off him.

I take a deep breath, frowning at what is going on. "I see..." I fall onto the bed, "Right... So..." The tension fills the air. Kurt doesn't even look at me as I try to search his eyes for his real emotions. "I'll just go then." I shrug, standing up, I sigh once more. Making my way to the stairs I stop, turning slightly. "You know, I knew this was going to happen, sooner or later, you breaking my heart. I just thought it would happen after I tell you..." I trail off, shaking my blonde hair. "Whatever. Have fun with Blaine." I growl out bitterly.

Rushing up the stairs, opening the door I see Finn frowning at me. "Dude... You okay?" I wonder if I look horrible, I feel my face is wet and my eyes are hurting. I shake my head no. "What happen?" Finn looks uncomfortable with this; it's a guy thing I know.

As guys we should hide our emotions but I cannot do this anymore. I grab the giant and hug him. He tenses up but then pats my back. "He broke my heart." I pull back, seeing behind him is Burt and some woman, who must be Finn's mom. "I should get going. Homework and... Glee stuff."

I move as fast as I can out of that house.

* * *

Next day I try to act as nothing happen. Dressing great, but with no real emotion of trying to win back Kurt or any girl, I get complements from girls, Cheerios. I pretend I care about their opinion. In class I hardly pay attention, the teacher hardly notice I'm there anyways or doesn't even care. Lunch time I skip, going to the Library and trying to take a nap with a random book open to seem like I was studying so the Teacher won't yell at me.

Glee was a bit harder to pretend I'm fine, though. Finn knows I'm not okay, but he just gives me worry glances as I pay attention to Mr. Schuester. Kurt comes into the room late, avoiding eye contact with me as I search for his eyes. He looks upset, but I feel like it's a show for the others since he wasn't very upset with breaking up with me.

"Great timing Kurt," Mr. Schue smiles widely that makes me wonder if he has a life outside of Glee, "I was going to announce that you will be getting a solo for sectionals."

Kurt doesn't even smile at that, if anything he frowns more. "That's great but I'm going o have to decline. See... I'm transferring out of here to Dalton."

The whole club goes into an uproar. Rachel freaking out about how he better not join their Glee Club. While Mercedes trying to defend her friend. Kurt tells us it's not safe for him here, but doesn't give us a real reason of why he is leaving. Of course it's not safe, it's a public school. How Kurt gets treated for being gay wasn't as bad as I was treated for being Trans. But to each his own, right? Or some other odd saying.

He tells us good-bye, Mercedes and Finn standing watching my ex leaves. Mercedes turns to me, frowning. "Go after him! Bring him back!"

I roll my eyes, "He broke up with me, I think I'll just make him want to go more. Anyways, he's in love with that Blaine dude."

"But-"

"It's fine. I don't care if he won't date me cause I'm not his idea of a prefect boyfriend." I start up my rant, shrugging. "Yeah so I'm bisexual, big whoop. There are tons of bisexual guys who date gays. No, he just gotta run away to the first chance he bots to get a gay boyfriend, cause he'll always think I'll just go cheat on him with a girl because that's what bisexuals do! We just cheat on everything that looks our way." I take a deep breath, staring at them as the room and faces get blurry. "I didn't even get the chance to tell him why I wanted to go slow, why I was so uncomfortable dating anyone. I thought he wouldn't care but it just goes to show you that people like me don't get happy endings."

"Sam, calm down. You're hyperventilating." Mr. Schue says, moving closer to me.

I take a deep breath, seeing everyone is freaking out. Wiping my face, I try to calm down. "Sorry, I want to go home." I stand up, getting out of there as fast as I can.

I got to stop running from my problems.

* * *

My dad was leaving the house with a huge smile on his lips as I was stomping my way to he door with a frown. He stops smiling as he sees my mood. "Sam, are you okay?" My dad stops me, touching my forehead as if maybe my dark mood is due to a fever. "You're home early. No Glee?"

"I'm not feeling well, maybe something I eat. I dunno... I just want to sleep."

"Maybe I'll stay home tonight." Which is weird, he doesn't work today. I look at him, seeing that he is all dressed up nicely... As if for a date. "I'll just cancel."

"Nah, you go have fun." I smile; seriously happy he's going out. "I'll be fine, I'm just tried."

My dad pats my head, smiling as if trying to tell me it's okay.


	9. Chapter 9

"Sam?" A hand runs down my chest as I let out a sigh, "Wake up." The voice whispers into my ear, as the hand moves from my chest to my arm.

"Five more minutes." I groan out, touching the hand that rubs my arm. That earns me a chuckle and a little shake to wake me more. Moaning out a no, I open my eyes to see my ex. "Kurt?" I blink out, sitting up in my bed. "What are you doing here?" I take his hands, not believing what is happening, and how much of a creeper he is to get into my house in the middle of the night.

"I miss you so much." He confuses, sitting on the Yu-Gi-Oh bed sheets. He closes his eyes as he squeezes my hands. "Blaine is nothing like I thought he would be! He's such a tool, making me fall for him just so they have a chance to win sectionals. He used me and lied to me about being happy with him." Kurt leans closer to me as tears fall from his eyes. "I miss you so much it hurts and all I want to know is how I can make it better."

I smile, happy that he is coming back to me. "Kurt, I totally forgive you." I thread my fingers in his soft hair. "Don't cry." I lean closer, our lips oh so close, "I want to tell you something that I never told anyone outside of my family." I whisper, preparing my heart to break once more as I let out a sigh. "But before that, I want to sing to you." I smile softly as Kurt looks up at me with his tear full eyes.

I get up, not caring I'm only in my Pikachu boxers, as I grab my guitar. I sit back down next to Kurt, leaning close to him once more as I give him a soft kiss on his wet cheeks.

My hands already knew the song I wanted to play, as I close my eyes listening to the sweet sounds. "_Where, where will you stand? When all the lights go out, across these city streets_." I look over to Kurt as he smiles cutely as me, "_Where were you when all of the embers fell? I remember them, covered in ash, covered in glass, covered in all my friends_." I stand up to go before him, swaying slightly with strumming. "_I still think of the bombs they built, If there's a place that I could be, then I'd be another memory._"

Putting my whole heart into the chorus, I open my mouth to sing with all my might. "_Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me, and if we can't find where we belong, we'll have to make it on our own! Face all the pain and take it on because the only hope for me is you alone_."

Smiling Kurt stands before me, shocking me a bit as he opens his mouth and sings with my guitar. "_How would you be, many years after the disasters that we've seen? What if we learned of all the people burning in purifying flame? I'll say it's okay I know you can tell and though you can see me smile I still think of the guns they sell._"

Smiling, I take over. "_If there's a place that I could be, then I'd be another memory. Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me and if we can't find where we belong, we'll have to make it on our own. Face all the pain and take it on because the only hope for me is you alone_!"

"_The only hope for me… The only hope for me is you_!"Kurt repeats a few times, toughing my shoulders as I strum. "_The only hope is_!"

"_If there's a place that I could be then I'd be another memory? Can I be the only hope for you? Because you're the only hope for me! And if we can't find where we belong, we'll have to make it on our own face all the pain and take it on! Because the only hope for me is you alone!"_

As I repeat the only hope for me is you, Kurt sings out remember me.

I breathe the last words as I place the instrument down, moving closer to my love. He leans closer to me placing his soft lips on my chap ones as we share a long deserved kiss that I have been dreaming for days ever since Kurt left me and McKinley. He lips taste as sweet as I remember them, this time like chocolate mint ice creams something new but welcomed. I moan into his lips, daring to deepen to sweet kisses into something hotter as I push his lightly back so he can resist and tell me no. Thankfully he just smiles into my lips, opening his mouth as our tongues meet, as he lets himself fall into my bed.

"Oh gawd, I miss you." He moans out, his hands roaming my chest as I let out a groan as his hips meets my own. "Don't you miss me?"

At first I wonder what the hell he was talking about but then it hits me why the hell we sang that song. I move back, rolling off of him. "Of course I miss you, babe." I sigh, "I just... Need to tell you something really important." I take his hands into my own. "I'm so scared to tell you but I love you so much I need to."

Kurt blinks up at me, "What's wrong?"

"I..." I run my hands over my hair to mess it up. "Kurt, I'm a transsexual." I tell him slowly, watching the confusion roll onto his face. "I was born a girl."

"But... You... A... A girl?" His blue-green eyes widen in shock, as his hands goes over his mouth.

"Was a girl!" I tell him, placing my hands over his thin shoulders. "I was a girl but now I'm a boy, I just don't have a penis." I inform him, locking our eyes as his are still wide. "Kurt... What are you-"

"Omigawd." 'He shakes; he pushes me away from him. "That's just so... Gross!" He shrieks, moving away from me. "I can't believe I kissed you, you freak!" He screams at me, moving to my door as I sit in shock. "Ugh, I can't believe I kissed you. I can't believe I wanted to sleep with a freak like you!"

"Kurt, stop." I tried to stand but my legs won't work as I feel my face get wet as my vision blurs. "Kurt, please don't be like this. I love you."

"Ew, no! You fucking tranny!" He yells at me, he moves back over to me screaming at the top of his beautiful lungs. "You're disgusting piece of trash!" His finger hits my chest, hurting me but not as much as his words hurt me. I let out a sob as he continues his verbal assault, calling me from tranny to dyke. "People like you shouldn't even be alive! You'll never, ever, be a real man! You imposter!"

I close my eyes; trying to block Kurt's words as I start to believe them, hating myself all over again. "Please stop." I say out in a whisper, Kurt not being able to hear it from his yelling. "Don't do this."

"I hate you so much! Your kind deserves to die!" I hear a click, causing me to look up at Kurt who is in fact holding a gun. I hold my breath, hoping the tears can stop falling. "You know what's great about this, Samantha?" I wince at the name, as I stare at the barrel of the handgun. "The police won't even care that you're dead." I look up at Kurt's face as a twisted grin forms on it.

"Please don't do this." I whisper out.

"It might as well be me." Kurt laughs, the gun staying still between my eyes. "At least I'm civil and not raping your deform body." He laughs.

"Please don't, please don't." I begin to chant.

Why isn't my father coming in my room? Doesn't he cafe about me? Why is this happening to me? Kurt doesn't believe in bullying much less KILLING someone!

I hear a gunshot, I let of a scream of help but I feel nothing.

"Sam!" I jerk about, looking around the room fast to see if I am in a hospital but I'm just in my room minus Kurt. I see my father looking scared. "Sam, what's wrong? You were screaming in your sleep!"

"I..." I look around my room again, cannot believe what just happen to me. "I had a nightmare." I sigh out in relief, running my hands over my sweaty face. "Just a really bad dream."

"Want to talk about it?" He sighs, looking down at me.

"Nah, I'm fine. Really." I force out, still looking around my room. The dream felt so real! "A lots of zombies were chasing me and whatnot… Gotta stop watching horror movies before bed, I guess." I force out a laugh, not being able to look at my father. "I'm fine, so you can leave." I look up at him, but avoiding eye contact as I smile widely.

"Okay, kiddo…" He pats my head and leaves my room.

I let out a sigh… _There is no way I can come out if I'm gonna sing that song._

* * *

**A/N**: LOL Did you guys think Kurt was really gonna kill him, huh? HUH! ANYWAYS! SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT! I have writer's block for this… like omg… Here's a filler D: I'm really sick right now… So, sorry if the editing is bad…

**SONG**: The Only Hope For Me Is You by My Chemical Romance


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